Friday, September 01, 2006

MissTubbsie 10/15/05-08/31/06


LittleMissTubbsie
Originally uploaded by SleepyEyes.
We had a horribly sad experience last night. We had to put our little 10 month old English angora bunny to sleep. She had wool block for longer than we thought and, when I saw she was so lethargic yesterday, I called the vet. Luckily they had a cancellation so we got in right away.

At first, they looked at her teeth and bottom and said there could be hope, even after the xrays showed it was wool block, but later, the vet came in and said that any treatment would just bring her more suffering. This was so painful to hear.

Because of her large, fluffy white coat, we didn't know that she was only skin and bones underneath. The diet plan that was given to us was mostly to bring out a nice coat in the bunny...not really one to keep her healthy and strong. I've never had a bunny before, so I followed the instructions we'd gotten. But, the foods we were giving her (oats, sunflower seeds and pellet food) should have been eliminated and she should have primarily been fed hay (which we did give her lots of everyday) and leafy greens.

I can't tell you how much it hurt me to know that I'd fed her the wrong things. Thank goodness Ian suggested early on that she run around the yard every day (which I thought was dangerous for her, though it was probably actually one of the things that made her live as long as she did).

I made a fool of myself crying uncontrollably at the vet. Ian was very strong for all of us. I felt so sorry for my older son, Tim, because he was inconsolable and sobbed like I've never seen him do before. Neither Tim nor I have ever lost a pet and he kept saying, "Why can't we SAVE her???". We tried to explain how we would pay anything or do anything for her if we could, but she had been suffering for longer than we thought (we were told that bunnies easily disguise their health) and there was no hope. We didn't want her to suffer anymore. The vet didn't think she'd live through any treatments or hospitalization.

When I had to sign the euthanasia form, my hand was shaking so much....I could barely do it. I hated to do it. It was the most horrible feeling I've ever had. When the brought her in so we could say goodbye, I didn't think I could hold it together. I petted her (she was wrapped in a soft towel) and told her how sorry I was that I didn't do the right things for her. Both Ian and I felt like we let her down. Poor Tim couldn't bear to see her and had to sit in the car. I can't tell you how hard it was to say goodbye. It killed me.

We had her body wrapped up in the blanket I'd made and they put her in a nice box. Today, we're going out to buy a small tree or flowering plant and we'll be burying her in the backyard...having a small and loving burial for her. We wanted her close by and not in some pet cemetary, where she'd be lonely....sounds dumb, but that's how we felt.

Today is even more horrible. Seeing her bunny cage, her dishes and hay....the great new big cage that Ian made for her.....I don't know what to do. Tim and I keep crying. Poor Ben said on the way home last night, "Where's the bunny? Want the bunny!" and Tim sobbed even harder. Ben didn't understand that she'd died.

To my dear, lovely, sweet Tubbsie....I'm so sorry that I failed you and I enjoyed every minute of seeing you hop around the yard, holding you in my arms and seeing you munch on your hay. Thank you for the little bit of fur I have saved from you in plucking this year. I will treasure it always. I love you, my little girl bunny and I know you are somewhere safe, warm, happy and full of leafy green carrot tops, which were your favorite. Rest in Peace.

P.S. I'll have the giveaway another time. Sorry...I just couldn't do it yesterday.

14 comments:

knitzalot said...

I'm so sorry about your bunny. Your poast made me cry. How awful that they didn't give you the proper instructions for feeding her.

Nichole said...

Oh my gosh Gina, I am so very sorry to hear of your terrible loss. If there is anything I can do, let me know - its not easy to loose a dear friend and its not easy knowing they were never able to tell you anything was wrong. Miss Tubbsie is beautiful and she needs to become a gorgeous resident of Rainbows Bridge (look in your email)...

Gigi said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Miss Tubbsie! It is definately hard losing a pet. Nonpet owners just don't understand that this little bundle of fur becomes part of the family. Although nobody can replace Miss Tubbsie, consider getting another rabbit soon. She or he will help fill the void. When Rusty died followed within a month by Cita, I got two new cats. They are different, but their love makes a difference! I adore them both and hope for the same for you.

somebunnysloveDOTcom said...

Hey Sweetie, I am so sorry about Miss Tubbsie. She WAS beautiful, but you did not know. A lot of us never know what to expect when we get our first rabbit. Please know that my heart totally and truly understands what you are going through right now. (HUGS)
=:8

Jackie said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Poor Miss Tubbsie.

Julie said...

Gina, I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. I'm so very sorry for your loss. I know from experience how hard it is to say goodbye to a very important part of your family. Don't be hard on yourself - it wasn't your fault. You did as you were told and that's all anyone can do. You fed her everything you were told to feed her, you loved her, you gave her a very happy life. I have had bunnies in the past and know how much a part of you they can become. They are so smart and so loving.
I'm sending you and Tim and the rest of your family HUGS!

Heather said...

I am so very sorry about your bunny. You did everything right...don't be sorry. Remember, too, that she knew she was loved right up to the end.

ikkinlala said...

I'm sorry for your loss.

Karen said...

I think there is an echo in here - how sorry to hear about your beloved bunny! About six years ago our puppy got out and was hit by a car and had to be euthanized by the police officer. The kids were all in the house when it happend but mu husband and I sobbed in a corner of the yard. Dear Bootsie is buried in my yard next to my "college" dog who lived 17 years. We had a little funeral for her (there were lots of flowers from my hospital stay after the birth of my youngest) and the older three kids seemed to grasp the situation and really wanted it that way. I find it a graet comfort to know they are there even if the the town and the neighbors would probably be horrified. Give those boys extra hugs from another pet lover. I will be thinking of you.

Kimberly said...

I'm sooo sorry about your bunny!! Our Kittie died about 2 months ago and we went through the same thing. I think I understand a little bit of what you're feeling. I think the hardest part is when the kids ask where the pets are. Don't you dare say you didn't do the right things-it certainly sounds like you did. You all loved her as much as you could and I know she knows that! It was by no means you're fault. Love is the most important thing. We don't know how our Kittie died but we did all we could to help her. Life is a viscious circle and it sure hurts to learn about it this way. Your bunny was and always will be loved.

Lora said...

Gina, so sorry to hear of your loss.
You sure held yourself together well today.
Chin up!

Lora said...

Sorry to hear of your loss Gina!

Heide said...

I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. Cyber hugs from far away.

Kendra said...

Hi Gina, I am a friend of Heather's and was just reading her blog after not seeing it for awhile. I was so sad about your bunny, as we just put our bunny down about 3 weeks ago. She was 8 1/2 years old (the vet called her "ancient"!). Don't beat yourself up, bunny's are very good at hiding their health problems, they are so quiet. as for shaking while signing papers, I completely understand, you don't realize how hard it will be until you are in that situation. Maybe she is hopping around happily with our little Emily :) Take care.